Bring your extended family together, and set the tone for the photoshoot with a family event

One of the biggest concerns with a family photoshoot is simply getting everyone together, especially when family members don’t all live under the same roof.

A close second is worrying whether the kids will sit still and cooperate.

Ironically, though, it’s often the teenagers and adults who need the most time to warm up in front of the camera.

Having your picture taken isn’t most people’s idea of fun, and family sessions can add even more pressure. With the final work destined to be displayed prominently on the family wall, the consequences for being the one singled out for not getting their look just right could haunt the family dinner table for years to come! 

Feeling expected to perform under what feels like a giant spotlight can be unnerving, often resulting in an awkward tense look

And likewise from behind the camera, there's also pressure to quickly break everyone through a lifetime of societal conditioning around how you ‘should’ be performing in front of a camera. 

Because we don’t want that stiff, posey, performative look now do we?

Unfortunately, there’s no magic trick to make everyone relax the moment the camera appears (though that would be nice). The real trick is much simpler—we ease into it gradually.

But this doesn’t mean keeping everyone in front of the camera longer, trying to force the right mood like an over eager cheerleader. That would only make things worse, leaving everyone looking frustrated and bored.

However, we do want everyone in the right mood and to understand what we're looking for—especially since it’s often not what they expect. But it’s best if this is done gently, without making it feel like a lecture.

So how do we do that exactly? Well, we do it with… chicken!

Okay, It doesn’t have to be chicken—it could be sushi, a BBQ, or whatever your family loves. It could even simply be some hot drinks with biscuits. Although, if it happens to be KFC, I totally wouldn’t object!

Whatever the meal, we suggest making it the main event. A family get-together of sorts. That way, the family photo session feels like a quick task to check off afterward, rather than the focus of the day.

Oh, that’s right… there’s also a mystery guest at this family event: The Photographer.

Another suggestion is to organise this photoshoot & meal event on the date of a significant family occasion such as a birthday, or anniversary, as this can help to solve the problem of trying to get everyone together on the same day.

This approach works so well because a photoshoot isn’t something that happens every day, and having a stranger at a family event naturally sparks conversations. People often share their questions and fears about being photographed, which creates a natural, pressure-free opportunity to address everything.

It also gives everyone a chance to relax around me (the photographer) as a person, rather than letting their fears of me possibly being a judgmental photographer, focused on flaws and the right way to pose, take over.

Here’s the types of questions & topics that typically come up, and/or the information that’s conveyed over a casual meal:

What the final portrait will look like

Since I (the photographer) am the unfamiliar face at the family event, and all anyone knows about me is that I’m there to take pictures, it’s a natural jumping off point for conversation. It always comes up early on after I arrive—people usually ask who I am and why I’m there, you know, just the polite ‘getting to know you’ questions. Instead of going into a lengthy explanation, I often just start by showing examples of my work.

More often than not, this instantly gets people a lot more excited about the photoshoot. They realize the final result won’t be the typical traditional family portrait they expect, and they start to become curious about seeing themselves transformed into a work of art.

How to be in front of the camera (and that it’s okay not to be perfect)

As I show the examples of my work, I’ll explain the specific "poses" in each one, and whether the final image was created from one photo or a few stitched together. These "poses" are usually less about posing and more about moments, like people laughing or a spontaneous interaction. I’ll often mention what sparked the emotion, like a funny moment with the dog or someone saying something hilarious.

This helps everyone understand the kind of look we're aiming for, and reassures them that they don’t have to pose or be serious—they can just have fun, and that’s perfectly fine!

Plus, knowing I can stitch together the best shots gives them peace of mind, knowing they won’t be the one to "ruin the shot."

Calming body image fears

Body image usually comes up in some way. Sometimes, it's a general comment about feeling unphotogenic, while other times, it's concerns about specific features—like certain angles causing a double chin or lines around the mouth.

These worries often make people tense up in front of the camera, trying too hard to hold what they think is their best angle, which can end up looking stiff and unnatural.

Such beliefs can be deeply held, and unable to be swiftly undone, so I don’t place any emphasis on trying to convince anyone otherwise. Instead, I make sure to stress what can be done using painted techniques to alleviate any of their concerns.

Some examples of what can be done include using broad brushstrokes to outline face shapes without emphasizing fine details like lines and wrinkles, adding shadows and darker tones under the chin and jawline for more definition, or blending areas like the tummy or hips into the background to soften or remove their outline entirely. 

Obviously, in a standard photoshoot, these adjustments just wouldn’t be possible without the final image looking heavily edited, which is why it’s a great aspect to emphasize.

Warming up to being in front of the camera

At some point during the event, I’ll need to set up the equipment for the shoot. I’ll ask a few volunteers to step in and help by standing at different distances from the lights to determine the ideal lighting.

While I could take more time and do this myself, I prefer to involve a few people from the group I’ll be photographing later. It helps them to warm up to the idea of being in front of the camera. I also put my ‘model’ hat on and let others take a few test shots of me, doing some fun poses to suggest to them the kind of poses and behavior I’m looking for during the shoot.

Am I judging everyone?

It's funny how humans often assume the worst when they don't know someone or a group well. I’ve heard people say they feel judged at the gym, but think about it—have you ever judged anyone there? I know I haven’t, and I don’t think most people do. Yet, that fear of judgment still lingers.

People often have similar fears with the photographer. Sometimes it’s our fault, like when we make squinty faces while focusing through the camera. But most of the time, I don’t think people necessarily believe we’re judgemental per se—it's more about feeling vulnerable and like they're under a microscope, which then makes them question if they are in fact being judged.

That’s why getting everyone to know me a little better before the photoshoot helps reduce those worries. It’s not that getting to know someone automatically does this, but once people meet me, it’s pretty clear that I’m not like that.

Meeting ‘the talent’ & how best to work with them

Not only are your family members getting to know me better, but I’m also learning more about them too. I pay attention to their conversations, jokes, and what makes people laugh. I get a sense of who’s who—who might be shy and need extra attention, who’s bold and will get everyone in a silly mood, and if there are any well-meaning “bossy boots” who might try to get everyone to ‘act right’ during the shoot. I also look for topics or stories that I can use as prompts to make the session feel more natural and fun.

While hosting a family meal before the photoshoot may seem like the long way around, it actually makes the session run much more smoothly and quickly once everyone is at ease. The time spent connecting, laughing, and getting comfortable is time well spent that leads to more natural, relaxed photos. And please don’t worry about it taking longer for my sake—I take artistic pride in creating the best possible artwork!

Bringing everyone together can take a little coordination, but when the final piece is hanging on the wall, the effort makes sense. If you’d like to see how these larger family portraits are designed and what the finished artwork can look like, you can read more about my approach to family portraits in Wellington here.